5 Coolest Ways to Get to Mexico
Mexico. It’s where you want to be. Let’s face it — getting your toes (or boots) in the sand while you sip margaritas in a tropical paradise is pretty much on everyone’s “to-do” list. But it’s not always easy to get there. That’s why I’ve compiled this very simple list of the coolest ways to get to Mexico, so that when your time comes, you’re prepared to travel in style. You’re welcome.
Smuggled in a Trunk
Pros: Spending quality time with yourself.
Cons: They check trunks, so you’re going to jail.
So, yes, smuggling yourself in a car trunk doesn’t SEEM like the greatest move in the world, but think of it as a challenge. It’s the very essence of “getting away from it all.” It doesn’t have to suck, you know. If you stock up on some good snacks, charge up your iPod and phone, and bring a pillow, this could be quite a nice way to travel.
Of course, they’ll totally catch you at the border, so this method likely won’t get you very far into Mexico unless you bring bribe money for the Border Patrol.
Shot From a Cannon
Pros: Likely the fastest way to get there.
Cons: Sticking the landing might be a bummer.
This method might be pretty cool if you have a buddy already in Mexico with a butt-ton of mattresses. Getting shot from a cannon sounds like it could be potentially messy, but human cannons have come a long way since Super Dave Osborne. In fact, if you do all the math correctly and catch the wind just right, you could theoretically land right in a swimming pool or something. That would be cool.
Of course, it probably won’t happen, making this one of the more dangerous ways to get to Mexico. Still, worth trying just in case you pull it off — it’s a story you would tell the rest of your life!
Carried by Angels
Pros: Hands-down the best way to travel, ever.
Cons: You thought you had to be good for Santa? Imagine how good you have to be to qualify for angel travel!
This method of travel will likely burn up all of your cosmic ju-ju in one afternoon, unfortunately. Anything good that was ever going to happen to you is pretty much going to be cancelled because you cashed it all in on one angel ride to Mexico. Forget lottery tickets — you done blown that one, bucko. Also, you would probably have to achieve Mother Theresa-like goodness for the rest of your life, which is a tall order. I mean, even Mother Theresa didn’t get angel miles, and she was pretty groovy.
I like you and all, but I doubt you’re THAT good of a person.
Warp There Via Wormhole
Pros: Instant travel.
Cons: Never been achieved, may be vaporized in the process.
Again, this one’s tricky, but totally worth it. Either way, you’re going down in history — either as the first person to travel through time and space through a theoretical wormhole OR as the first person to be atomized for trying to travel through time and space through a theoretical wormhole. No matter which, you’re going in a textbook somewhere, Bubba.
Buy A Plane Ticket to ‘Boots in the Sand’
Pros: It’s incredibly easy to do!
Cons: It may take you, like, a whole minute to do it. And a couple hundred bucks.
Of course, the easiest way to get to Mexico is to fire up your internetting device of choice and buy passes to Boots in the Sand, and a plane ticket to get there. It might cost ya, but you definitely won’t get arrested, vaporized, or run out of cosmic ju-ju.