There’s drunk, really drunk and so drunk you think you’re licensed to perform dentistry. A Port St. Lucie, Florida man was so liquored up he attempted to pull his own tooth, forcing his wife to call the cops to get him to stop.

“Three officers made contact with Rojas.’We observed him attempting to extract his tooth and there was vomit on the floor from his attempts,’ an affidavit states. It wasn’t immediately clear whether Rojas consulted a dentist prior to the procedure.”

If Mr. Rojas did consult a dentist, we can be 99.9% sure his medical advice wasn’t “chug some Boone’s Farm, grab some pliers and just start yanking.”

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