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The Worlds Tallest Waterslide (Video)

Getty Images/ Brett Hemmings

Schlitterbahn has done it again!  They’ve outdone themselves by building the worlds tallest waterslide.  Unfortunately it’s NOT in Texas!  I guess that just means that when they build us one it’ll be bigger than the biggest one right?!  Check this monster out by clicking “Read More”.

This giant is at the Schlitterbahn in Kansas City!  Seriously??!  What do those people need a waterpark for anyway?  It doesn’t get Texas HOT – am I right?

I remember taking my son to a waterpark just north of Houston when he was probably about 6 years old, and he begged me to climb up that stand alone slide that was 2 or 3 stories tall.  I am not very good with heights, but I figured that if we climbed up there he’d see just how far we were off the ground and get scared and want to come back down.  So we headed up those stairs…. Very… Slowly.  You know how lines are at waterparks.  After that journey my legs were jelly, but he was ready to go!  Absolutely no fear.  I was still pretty confident that he’d chicken out, and we’d have to walk all the way back down.

We arrived at the top of this thing and let me tell you, we were WAY up there!  I was terrified.  I peeked over the edge to wave to my wife at the time, and indicated that we’d be heading back down, so grab me a cold one.  I was going to need it.  I turned around and just as I did I saw my little boy, my flesh and blood, my legacy, my namesake, my soul slip over the edge of that slide straight down!

I don’t exactly know how it happened because I’ve taken human physiology classes and I know it’s physically impossible, but my heart moved from my chest directly into my throat!  Friends and neighbors, there’s no more fright a parent can have than when you have no control to stop something from happening to your child. I looked over the edge to see him at the bottom waving up at me with a big smile on his face and motioning for me to follow.

You’ll be glad to hear that I did not!  I walked down the damn stairs like any normal human being.  My ego and pride were slightly bruised, but the cold beverage at the bottom took care of that.  Now without further ado, the worlds tallest waterslide, “The Verruckt”!  (I will not get on this one either.)

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