10 Commandments For Lufkin Drivers
I would like to preface this article by saying that I do not condone driving in the manner described below. These are just my observations. If you drive in Lufkin, and you don't do any of these things, you are one of the good drivers. I think we all think we are one of the good ones, but I see these driving sins all too often for us all to be innocent.
I am going perfectly fast enough, I picked my non-offensive speed and lane at random when I left town. I will be in the fast lane, neck and neck with another driver all the way to Nacogdoches. I didn't even notice you behind me turning red, I was on the phone. Got to get to SFA for class you know.
No one driving in Lufkin should have more than 2mm of tread on your tires at any given time. More than that would just be pretentious. If you need new tires, just get the used ones like the rest of us.
If you see a construction zone, with a posted "suggested" speed limit, ignore that. Whatever speed you were going was just fine for the rest of the road, so it must be fine for this too.
Everyone go! All of us must all go, or try to go, every second that you are stopped at the sign. Trying to figure out right of way at our numerous 4-way stops all day is just too hard. Just go, who ever is in the intersection first wins, right?
Tires might be bald, but your rims must be on point. These pieces of rolling jewelry must exceed the value of your vehicle, and be polished to a high shine.
Speed Limit Changes:
Find a speed that is non offensive, and just go that speed all the way down 59. Yeah the speed limit changes, but it changes WAY too many times to try to keep up with. If I go 60 all the way to Diboll, I should be good right?
Weirdly we all use them, there must have been a crackdown by LPD at some point. We don't bother to turn them off, or actually go in the direction indicated, but hey, it was on, what do you want.
Must be full at all times, and nothing should be tied down. Trash bags, Kegs, dressers, bedding, couches, neighbors dog, they all are fair game.
Slam on your breaks people! There are red light cameras everywhere. It's only yellow for 4 seconds, plenty of time to slam them, and let your bald tires do the rest. Can't afford a $75 ticket. I have used tires to buy.
Right On Red:
We all know this one rule of the road. It's the only way to get one over on the red light cameras. We might just take right turns all the way to our destinations, Ricky Bobby style. Make sure and stop, even if the light is green for at least a second, and break check everyone behind you before you proceed right.
Got any of your own driving pet peeves when you come to Lufkin? Add them in the comments, and start the discussion on facebook.