After Monday night’s emotional performances during which the dancers did tributes to memorable periods in their lives, it seems almost cruel to cut someone — but the merciless ax of ‘Dancing with the Stars’ must fall.

Whose head rolled across the ballroom, never to cha-cha again?

Host Tom Bergeron talked about the poignant dances from last night as Brooke Burke-Charvet looked on, dressed in a black gown that was half-strapless/half-not and half-long/half-short, thus making it the glittery fashion equivalent of schizophrenia.

Judge Len said he hoped the producers would decide no one had to go because everyone’s performances on Monday were that good, but of course we know that won’t happen so let’s get to it.

First three safe couples:

Katherine and Mark, Maria and Derek, and Roshon and Chelsie

Despite a great dance last night that made lot of women unexpectedly swoony, Gavin and Karina were the first couple in jeopardy.

Then the show profiled a former dancer who was diagnosed with stage four cancer and can no longer perform. Anna (Jack Wagner’s pro partner) and her dancer husband did a beautiful tribute routine in honor of their friend, thus marking this as the weepiest ‘DWTS’ week in the history of ever.

Next set of safe couples:

William and Cheryl, and Jaleel and Kym.
Guess Jaleel didn’t suffer any fall-out from his PR nightmare over the past couple days.

Gladys and Tristan were the next couple in jeopardy. Classy, elegant women of a certain age, no matter how iconic, are rarely popular on this show. Think we can convince her to develop a potty-mouth? Because we’re not ready to lose her yet.

Next safe couples: Donald and Peta, Melissa and Maks, and Sherri and Val. Sherri, who’d expressed earlier concern about her weave, was so happy that she threw caution to the wind and whipped her hair back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Doing the math, that left Jack and Anna as the last of the bottom three.

Gladys and Tristan were sent to safety (okay, maybe she doesn’t need to start slinging those expletives just yet), leaving a bottom two of Gavin and Karina and Jack and Anna.

And the ax came down on … Jack and Anna.

Seems even though the judges said his dance for his newly-discovered daughter was his best yet, viewers weren’t moved enough to vote for him. Or maybe Heather Locklear finally stuck enough pins in his voodoo doll. Regardless, farewell, Jack.

See you next week.

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