Avian Assault: My Pickup Was Targeted by “Marksmen Birds” in East Texas

Sunday morning, as I was about to leave for church, I walked out to this.

The front half of my pickup truck was bombed no less than 30 times by passing birds in Hudson, Texas. (I took these photos later at the KICKS 105 parking lot.)

I was NOT parked under a tree, an overhang, or a carport. I was parked under the sky. This was a deliberate operation carried out with precision by marksmen birds while they were IN FLIGHT.

There were a few bird bombs that missed the truck and hit the driveway, but overall, I'd say it was about a 90% kill rate.

My Question to Bird Experts is WHY?

Why was the front half of my pickup truck targeted? Why would a large flock of birds, WHILE FLYING, relieve themselves in a tightly concentrated pattern, also known as my truck hood and windshield? I find it highly unlikely that it was a random strike.

Was it B-2 bomber day in the bird world? Is this how birds play cornhole? Was it Rembrandt Day for birds, and my truck was the canvas?

Something malicious is going on here, and I don't know what it is. From now on, I'm rooting for the coyote in those roadrunner cartoons.

READ MORE: Why Are People Putting These Classic Toys on Their Bird Feeders?

Were They All The Same Type of Birds?

Some of these nature's paintballs looked to have come from birds that may have just had a small appetizer. However, a few of these sky raisins had to come from birds that went back for thirds at the local buffet.

Either that, or penguins have learned to fly.

Seriously, I didn't know we had 'bunker busting' birds indigenous to East Texas. Avian splatter matter this big was probably visible on weather radar.

Bird Experts, Please Help

Yes, this is comical, but I'd like some answers. What would cause a bunch of flying birds to confetti my truck? I'm curious, for one, but I'd also like to feel safe parking my vehicle in that spot again.

Did these birds really make a plan to spray my truck with poop smoothies, or were they just winging it?