It’s no secret that Austin, Texas would like to have an NFL Football team.  In August, several reports surfaced about how the ownership of the Buffalo Bills was looking to relocate and Austin was a city that was mentioned quite often.

What if Austin did acquire the Bills, or any other NFL team for that matter.  And what if the owners of Buc-ee’s used some of their pocket change to become the outright owners of this Austin NFL franchise.  Imagine the possibilities.



Of course, the Austin Beavers immediately comes to mind.  Now, a beaver may not conjure up the tough, macho image so often associated with football.  But, keep in mind, beavers eat through trees with their bare teeth, they can effectively bring huge streams to a standstill, and there’s a lot of whacking power in that leathery tail.

Let’s compare with other NFL teams:

       NFL Team                           Weakness

  • Giants (NY)                       Small kids with a sling shot.
  • Cardinals (Arizona)           Everything except for crickets and grasshoppers
  • Browns (Cleveland)          It’s not even a primary color.
  • Titans (Tennessee)           *See Giants*
  • No Name (Washington)     Lack of creativity. Can’t even come up with a name

Yup, compared to many other NFL teams, I’ll take a beaver in battle every time.



What a great fit this would be for this new NFL team.  If you think that Buc-ee would be too cutesy as a mascot, just take a look at some of the other NFL mascots.  Sir Purr is the name of the Carolina mascot, Gumbo the dog for the Saints, Brownie the Elf is one of the mascots for Cleveland (watch out, he’ll eat all your syrup and spaghetti), a raccoon is the mascot for Tennessee, Sourdough Sam for the 49ers, and for my beloved Cowboys, it doesn’t get more cutesy than Rowdy the Cowboy.  He’s got dimples, perfect teeth and looks like he’s on an eternal quest for peach fuzz.


Nobody markets better than the folks at Buc-ee’s.  Everyone in Texas has at least one shirt, towel, hat or something with their beaver logo.  Now, give that same management an NFL team and watch them go wild.

They could have a special section for the loudest fans called the Dam Builders. Wouldn’t that make for great commentary by the TV announcers, “Those Dam Builders are going crazy tonight”.  All the football players would have protective mouthpieces with two buck teeth painted on them.  The cheerleading squad would be called the Nuggettes.  Instead of thunder sticks, fans would rock the stadium by slapping together two inflated plastic beaver tails. They could launch a line of T-shirts featuring a picture of Buc-ee wearing a football helmet along with the caption, “Beaver Fever!”.

Too much?

We’ll, it’s only a thought, probably more of a dream.

Kicks 105 logo
Get our free mobile app

The Austin Beavers.  Or maybe shortening the Buc-ee’s name to the Austin Bucks.

Someday, maybe.

If it ever did happen, one thing’s for certain.  Out of all the NFL stadiums, they would have the cleanest restrooms.

Did you know that there are some states that specifically outlaw beavers as pets?  Read on.

LOOK: Here are the pets banned in each state

Because the regulation of exotic animals is left to states, some organizations, including The Humane Society of the United States, advocate for federal, standardized legislation that would ban owning large cats, bears, primates, and large poisonous snakes as pets.

Read on to see which pets are banned in your home state, as well as across the nation.

More From Kicks 105