What If East Texas Had An Olympic Sport

This one you can do on the loop after they deploy the spike strips. Try to hide all the grams of meth in the car, somewhere in your body. Don't miss any, cause that's a felony you're catching.

Keep up the good fight. We will hold on to the flag, and kiss the capital steps in Texas. That guy Trump is okay as long as he actually builds a wall. Don't take away my guns, bro.

Jobs might be leaving the area, but don't worry, just pack up and move to get a job. You can come back when industry returns to town. It's going to be any day now, according to local government, so hold your breath.

To win just fork over at least 30 cents more per gallon than any other part of the state pays. This can only be won if you have a lifted older truck getting about 8 MPG. Takes a lot more effort to get all that gas here through the pine curtain.

To become a retirement oasis close to a Wal-Mart you gotta pour a lot of concrete. Build it and they will come, fill up all the rooms with baby boomers, and take the gold medal! Just watch out for health care reform.