Lufkin DJ Fights Off Giant Scorpion Attacking Infant Granddaughter

I just looked at a thesaurus to try and find the perfect word to describe what my wife and I endured this past weekend. I don't think one exists. Bizarre, uncanny, scary, frustrating, miraculous...put those in a blender with some ice and that's the strange cocktail we drank over the past few days.

It all started with my wife trying to get home from Washington, D.C. Severe storms caused her flight to Dallas to be canceled. She booked a later flight to Houston, but it was delayed by 12 hours, forcing my wife to spend the night on an airport bench. If the plywood-like comfort of the bench wasn't enough to keep her from sleeping, a nearby traveller whose snoring resembled someone trying to start a lawnmower definitely did the trick. My wife was beyond running on fumes by the time she finally made it home. It's important to know this to fully appreciate what happened next.

A Giant Scorpion Takes Aim At Our Infant Granddaughter

I was in the kitchen when my wife, who was holding our 10-month-old granddaughter (Bella), directed my attention to a sound coming from the top of the stove. "It's a scorpion," she exclaimed. I wasn't sure how she knew this, but I could hear the sound of something big walking underneath the burners. Then, it appeared. A huge, crawfish-sized scorpion. What happened next almost stopped my heart.

Somehow, in the commotion to keep Bella out of harm's way, I was now holding her, and when I looked back for the scorpion, it was no longer on the stove. Using one of its mighty pincers, it had latched onto Bella's shirt. The scorpion tried to curl its stinging tail towards my granddaughter, and I knew at that point I needed to get my arm in between that venomous needle and Bella. In doing so, I was also able to place my hand on the scorpion's tail so that it could not fully curl its stinger into my arm. It kept trying to free its tail to get an open shot into my arm, but I kept adjusting my hand while at the same time moving Bella farther away from the scorpion.

And then...CRASH! I was on the floor.

Gathering My Senses While Lying On The Bedroom Floor

Science tells us that during REM sleep, something called atonia keeps our muscles paralyzed so we don't act out what's happening in our dreams. Apparently, my scorpion dream overpowered atonia. In trying to move Bella away from the scorpion, I moved myself off the end of my bed and took a 3-foot gravity plunge onto the hardwood floor. My phone and laptop (on the nightstand) both took the fall with me.

I stayed on the floor for a few minutes just to take inventory of my condition. My wife mumbled, "Are you okay?" I felt a pain on the side of my head and told her I wasn't sure. The next sounds I expected to hear were the footsteps of my wife as she came to check on my condition. I only heard silence. Recall what I mentioned earlier, my wife had just endured a 12-hour flight delay and no sleep for pretty much 36 hours. She thought this was all a dream and went back to sleep. I was on my own.

Evidence of God's Protection

As I gathered my senses, I realized that I must have hit my head on the corner of the nightstand on my trip down to the floor. If you look at the top of your ear, just above the ear canal, it's a little spongy.

KICKS 105/Danny Merrell

That provided some cushion to where I hit my head (there's a little bruising). The results could have been far worse if I had taken a solid shot to my temple or skull. Thank you, Jesus, for protecting me.

Let The Jokes Begin

So, now that I seem to have only suffered a bruised ear and hip contusion, my family has 'comforted' me with all sorts of quips and pranks:

• Hey Dad, should we install rails on the bed?
• Sleeping must be a real downer for you.
• That's one way to stop your snoring
• My new nickname is Patsy Cline -- I Fall to Pieces
• And my favorite -- a chalk body outline on the floor next to the bed

At least I protected Bella from the scorpion.